5 mile race, recap:)

So I am guessing some of you are waiting to hear the details about how my first big race went Saturday. I actually have been trying to figure out the words to put it out there. I have gone back and forth with a lot...awful/awesome...torture/exhilarating...painful/inspiring....and many more. Actually a lot I felt wrong putting in print :) It was all of the above though. So let's go with INSANE but AMAZING!

I signed up Thursday night, you may have seen. That gave me little time to prepare, but enough time to think about it; Like REALLY think about it. Truth be told I didn't sleep a wink Thursday night. I had nightmares all night about never making it to the finish line, or worse being the VERY last person and having EVERYONE sitting there waiting for me. I had registered my dad against his will, hoping that he'd agree the next day (Friday). Being as it is rarely, if ever I truly ask him for ANYTHING I was hopeful, but it could've gone either way. Friday morning I awoke in a sweat. What the HELL was I thinking. I started to really regret my decision, literally sick to my stomach, just wanting to forget it. In a positive twist I got my dad to agree. It took some very pathetic voicemail messages from me, my mom calling and my being near tears, but he said he'd be there. Thank you Lord! He kept asking why we needed to do this though. I am still surprised HE was so apprehensive. Dad was a marathoner back in the day. He runs the hill that is their street many a morning. Especially if he is feeling under the weather. Sun, snow, sleet or rain he goes. He used to go 5 miles or more no problem, but lately he hasn't been going that far and certainly not in a timed deal, so he was a little reluctant himself. That made me feel a little better. A very little in fact, but better then nothing.

With this blog I have descended upon a slippery slope of leaping before I look and well saying things out loud, knowing I will feel like I better follow through with them, or look like an ass. That being said I knew I had to do it. That made me even more sick :) I prepared as best I could. I ate my carbs, drank lots of water, only drank 1-OK 2- beers (it was Friday night) and got to bed at a pretty early time for me. The kids were excited. They even laid out their clothes and went right to bed. I kind of slept. Not great though.

I awoke Saturday morning at 6:30 really feeling like perhaps I was playing a sick joke on myself. I got up, got dressed and then crawled back into bed, snuggled up to Joe and said "Ummm...Never mind!" "No, you're going" he said. I knew I was but it felt good to pretend for a minute. We got ready and out the door, basically on time (shocking:) and we were in Downtown Snohomish, near the start line before I knew it. The whole time we were driving, I was thinking "Really Ashley! What are you DOING!!?!?" I jumped out of the van, kissed my family good-bye, kind of wondering if I'd see them again:) Then started my warm-up. I am cursed in that I can not jump up and start running. I know warm-ups are important for everyone, but especially for me. I have to go at least a mile walking, before I am really ready to run. I was there walking and jogging 45 minutes before the 8:30 start time, my Dad arrived 15 minutes before. Lucky guy :)

We gathered at the start line, my heart was racing I was already sweating and I just really wanted the race to be over already. There are other factors at work, let's just say, I am not in my best place this day...Girl problems. Super! I caught a glimpse of Joe and the kids on the side of the street. I ran over, gave them kisses and hugs..."Oh Crap that was the start gun!" I turned to join my dad and off we went. My pace was slow. Rachel had told me that I really needed to pace myself so as to not risk burning out and then really finishing late. We headed down what I didn't realize was a hill, more on that later, and around the bend to what I knew was half a mile from my drive of the course the day before. I felt okay. I was so in my head though. All I could think was what Rachel always says "run, walk, crawl your way there. It doesn't matter how you get there, just try!"

Mile 1, there is a kid standing there reading his watch as you go by " 9 minutes 27 seconds" I hear him say. Wow, that is fast for me. And feeling like I am feeling I am amazed, as we head up a small incline over a bridge I look around. We are surrounded by gorgeous farm land. Fields, trees, cows, the river, a beautiful day, finally! I am so glad we are running where we are. This road we happened to be running on is the only way to get to the place I got married now almost 10 years ago. I looked for any excuse to go "run out there" in a car of course ;) over my 18 month engagement. I love this road and where it leads and what it reminds me of. Of course I am seeing it from a lot more hands or shall I say feet on approach and more clearly given my slower speed. "Run, walk, crawl, run, walk, crawl, run..." My dad is probably a bit surprised I have already slowed to a walk a few times, he sweetly sticks with me and does his best to stay moving at a comfortable speed for him. He runs backwards talking me down out of my head and skips a little ahead of me. I love him and hate him all at the same time. He makes it look so easy, I just wish I had his endurance, why is this SO hard for me? "Run, walk, crawl, run, walk, crawl..." Crawling started sounding like a really realistic way to get through the remainder of the race. I haven't looked behind me yet I don't want to see how many or how few people are back there. Especially since the 80 year old man I was so glad to see at the start- I had to be able to beat him right?- passed me at mile 1.5. Sweet! That was an ego killer.

There was a gal in front of me, that I played cat and mouse with the whole time. I would pull in front of her, start walking, she'd get ahead, I'd start running, pass her, start walking...you get the idea. She never walked though. It was really annoying. My Dad kept saying "OK baby you got this, let's just run a little further this time." Alright I'd think, "I'm running to the willow tree up ahead." I'd get to it, try to run past it, then walk a little. "Now I can only walk until I get to the telephone pole, then I'm running to the bend" Another trick Rachel has taught me :) Pick a point and run through it. Then pick a new point. Run, walk, crawl...Run, walk, crawl...RUN ASHLEY!"

I see the turn around up ahead. I should be happy but all I can think is "Holy S#@%, I am not even half way!" I frantically start trying to flash in my memory of the way here, of places I can hide instead of finishing. Dad encourages me to keep running. I look at him and say "Dad just go! Seriously it's fine. I don't want to hold you back." He smiles at me "Baby, if I was going for time I would have left you a LONG time ago!" Haha! really nice DAD! A-hole ;) I can love my dad immensely and respect him and still call him that. It's the kind of relationship we have. He ticks me off and it makes me want to prove him wrong. We have had a special agreement most of my life. I am always right and he's never wrong. Or maybe it's the other way around:) Either way, he knows how to get me going. I run to the turn around. Never more happy to see a water stand. I grabbed a glass, no stopping and run back out to the road. The road home!

2.5 miles and counting down. It seemed to be going faster, but I was seriously feeling sick. Every step I took I was questioning what made me think I could do this. Then I remembered that just a month ago, I didn't think I could run A mile, then I couldn't believe I could run TWO miles. Just the week before I had run 4 straight miles! I may not be feeling 100% and I may have started making excuses in my head, and possibly out loud to my dad but I was going to do this, I was going to finish and the sooner I get my rear in gear, the sooner I am done. I put my head down and start running. Now only allowing myself to walk for a matter of steps and then running again. I steal my dads skipping trick, it really seemed to help and I kept waiting to see the soccer fields which meant that we were almost back. Dad stayed just ahead of me, which I think he realized helped me. If he started to get too far I'd really push to catch up. I make it up that little incline onto the bridge again from the other direction this time and we hit 4miles down, 1 to go. "45 minutes" something seconds the kid calls out as we pass. I think to myself I may even make my goal of 1 hour! My dad says to pick a motivation, something I can focus on. I told him I had it and it was "a huge ass Tequila Mary at the Harvey Field Buzz Inn" Restaurant. "That's a horrible motivation" The Pot told the Kettle with a smile!

I come down and under the railroad bridge and see the soccer fields! Alleluia! "I'm going to run the rest Dad." "That's great baby! Let's go" 100 feet later, I'm walking for some more steps, but as I see the corner to round back to the finish I run again. I turn to head up Main Street, and "Where in the hell, did this HILL come from!!!" Remember earlier I spoke of a hill, I didn't realize was a hill. Well it was, and a significant one at that. I know the finish line is up on top, but not RIGHT at the top and since I really want to finish the race running I allow myself to walk part of the hill. As soon as I hit the top I start to run. The finish looks as if it could be a mirage in the distance. Like I really HOPE it is there! I see Joe, the kids, my mom, my best friend all waiting for me. They are waving me over to the side of the street where we runners are supposed to cross through. I look at the clock. 56:30 I am 3 minutes 30 seconds faster then my goal. My sweet dad let's me finish first, even though, he should have finished much before me and is the only reason I did finish.

My kids are high five-ing me and Joe hugs me, I am bawling! Can't even help myself! My mom hugs me and says "why are you crying, you're making me cry?" And I can't explain it, except to say that; Really and truly I NEVER thought I could do this! 5 miles may not seem like much to some. Whether you have only ever driven it, or you run that plus some all the time! For me this is huge. It is the first time I have had to push and force myself to do something I am not naturally good at and I actually have kept with it. I actually catch myself wanting to go get my run in. NEVER BEFORE! Plus it is the first thing I have done "just for me" in a really long time. Not to sound stupid, but I am so PROUD of myself. Saturday I debated on never taking my race number off. I thought maybe you'd see me at the store in a week or so with it on,and you'd ask what it was for and I'd casually mention I had done a 5 mile race in under 57 minutes:) All in all it was worth the pain, the torture and the fear. It was ugly and nasty at times, but in less then 1 hour, I discovered in myself a part of me I never knew I had or wanted. And that was Crazy and Wonderful!


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