So I did not get to posting last night, because, well, I think the 50th time I yawned I decided it was time for bed. I don't know what is different about this school year but it is different. Maybe it's that Cam is going full time now and playing soccer, so it's one more kid to organize. I try to keep everyone involved in the organizational process but they have been looking at me like "Yeah Right Mom" Their attitudes are not my friends right now.
As I type this here are some of the things that I think are making our days so challenging.
-Summer didn't start here until August
-We got back from vacation just over a week before school started
-We have been hitting 6 soccer practices a week.
-I have been driving to school, back and forth to school 2-3 times a day.
- I have been making 3 or 4 lunches a night
-Last night was the first time I slept through the night in weeks. My kids have decided that my bed is the best place to sleep.
HOLD ON! ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT IN PROGRESS!
I am watching Good Morning America and they just did a segment call 3 Words. They had people in their studio and all over the country holding up signs with just 3 Words. The band OneRepublic was there playing A Good Life. That song catches my ear every morning because it is Joe's Alarm Clock Song. Every day I hear it, I find myself saying.. Yes it is a good life! Watching the show I saw signs with things like
Laugh It Off
Sky's The Limit
Follow Your Dreams
We're Stronger Together
Be The Change
Celebrate Each Other
OneRepublic even held up a sign that said Take More Chances and there was a dance team, their words, TURN LIFE AROUND. Turn Life Around! That's IT! I have only been feeling overwhelmed for a couple weeks. There has been SO much to do! It's not like I am in this black hole, and I can't get out, but even so I hate feeling this way. So here I now sit, teary eyed. These words do what they intended and inspire me. I want to jump up and down and say Enough! And that is what I am going to do!
It is amazing in life how we get so wrapped up in our lives, ourselves, the chaos, the crazy. We enjoy the happy, the beauty, the love, the fun, but for most of us we don't get so turned around by all that good that we get lost in it. Why NOT?! It's like this nagging in the back of our mind saying, "Don't you know you have things to do, bills to pay, laundry to fold...."I think for me it's because when I have given myself over to "all that fun," the laundry has been piled up waiting for me when I finally came around and the overwhelming feeling of "OH NO!" quickly replaced the "OH MY WAS THAT FUN!" SO since I have not even liked myself lately, since I have annoyed myself and my family with the constant nagging and I am so tired of feeling like I am swimming against the current as far as our house and schedule goes. I am ready to turn it around. I need to get back to enjoying these days of mine.
First things first I need to just hunker down and get my house in order. It's not beautiful or glamorous but it is reality. I have a house, 4 kids and no housekeeper, so just call me the "Merry" Maid :) It's not what I love or even like to do but it has to be done. This week I've organized the garage, pantry, my van. I am almost done with the Mud Room and today I tackle my number one foe- THE LAUNDRY ROOM! I think once these things are done I will have a new lease on life. The kids are being required to keep their rooms in order and I think if I use after school play dates as collateral, they will continue to cooperate. So although like I said this isn't the most glamorous part of life, organizing is key to my happiness and consequently the happiness of my family. Or at least our sanity :)
If you are a parent you will understand what I am about to say. If you are not a parent, you had parents and I am sure you remember moments in your life where you didn't like them very much. Stay with me you'll see where I am going. SO as a parent, before your kids are born you have grandiose ideas about how its going to be. I wanted to be fun, in charge but not overly strict, and well, just a great parent. But I guess just like a great baseball player has a hitting slump...Great parents have off days too. Sometimes off weeks. It's not pretty, it feels terrible and you can't wait to get your Mojo back. On days like that you hear the words "What is with you guys!?!" or "Seriously!" coming out of your mouth (if you are like me every 5 minutes:) and they taste awful. You just want to shout "Just Kidding! Let's go get ice cream!" and make it all fun and good again, but it's not that easy. So one day of grouchiness, becomes two and hopefully not too many more. Yesterday I was talking to my kids in the kitchen, I am not joking- 5 feet away from them, asking them to do something and not one of them heard me or at least they acted like they didn't, they were yelling at each other and busy doing their stuff. I yelled at the top of my lungs
"HEEEEELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO!"
They all froze and stared at me. My throat felt hoarse after that, but I got their attention. I asked if they would please pick up their things and put them in the mud room before we ate dinner. They looked at me, looked at each other and then kept fighting. OK SERIOUSLY! I stepped outside onto our deck and closed the door. Mommy needs a timeout. "I am such a jerk" is what I kept saying to myself, "but why are they ignoring me, why are they going out of their way to NOT do what I ask? Why is it SO LOUD in there?!?!" It is moments like this where you want to be better, but you aren't sure quite how to do it. Maybe you ease your way out of the funk, and sometimes it takes a jolt for you to wipe your slate clean and start fresh. It's like the age old question, what came first? The chicken or the egg? Some days I look at the chaos and go, are they being naughty because I am being grouchy? Or am I grouchy because they are being naughty? In times like this it doesn't matter, so I need to quit trying to figure it out. I'd be better off just taking a deep breath and figuring out what it is going to take to get on track. In a happy, calm, rational way. Preferably in a quiet place, all alone surrounded by lattes or glasses of wine :) Just kidding! Sort of :)
I am all for the crazy train! I embrace it. In fact I pride myself on thriving in ORGANIZED chaos. That said I think this weeks slump is all about the organization. So I'm thinking... my three words...
Do The Laundry :)
Are you SERIOUS :)
Don't be Bitchy :)
Embrace the Chaos :)
Just be Happy (getting closer)
I am lucky
Live Life Real-ly!
I think that might be it. I need to live life REAL-LY. I need to remind myself that the house is going to be a mess some days, there will NEVER be enough hours in the day, the kids are going to fight, I am going to be exhausted, life is going to be chaotic! But also, we are going to have an extra load of laundry because we decide to play outside together. I am going to forget to make lunch because I am reading them a story. I am going to watch my kids do something kind for one another. We are going to have a dance party in the kitchen and there will beautiful meals and conversations at the dinner table. I AM LUCKY. I wouldn't trade places with anyone. I just need to bottle up those beautiful moments and save them for a rainy day, because reality is really real :) The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. It is all about balance. And though some days I feel like I am the man in the story Caps For Sale with all my different hats I wear. Mom, Wife, Chauffeur, Chef, Maid, Nurse, Friend, Sister, Secretary, Tutor, Daughter, Blogger, Cheerleader, Teacher and more. Maybe some days I can't balance them all, maybe some days I shouldn't. I can learn to be OK with that. I think...No... I will :)
So maybe my words are just
Crazy Wonderful Life
What are your 3 words?
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