So one thing I have been afraid of since the beginning of all this running stuff is what came next! How would I eventually re-enter society after achieving my goal? After training for this half I realize for certain, if I ever ENTERTAINED the idea of running a full at this point in my life, I'd be crazy. At the peak of my training for this half, I was running 2.5 hours on Tuesdays alone. Not to mention Monday Strength Training, Thursday Track workout, Friday Run Club and Sunday Run Group.
It wasn't just the actual running time- it was the driving, the packing up and the dropping off of kids and the running out of time to shower until 11 o'clock at night. Not to mention the lack of laundry being done, the bathrooms not getting cleaned, dinner getting made quickly, and not gourmet-ly (not a word I know:) My blog wasting away with out me. Yet so much for myself. So much time. But so much accomplishment. So much happy, fun, laughing, hurting, amazing, running. Kind of an unnatural thing for me.
So I ran 13.1 miles and I came home and didn't run for a week. Then almost another week. I was starting to beat myself up. WHY! WELL...WHERE IS THE HAPPY MEDIUM!!!
I called Rachel sheepishly. How do I make running a part of my life when I don't have this rigorous schedule of training in front of me? I WANT TO KEEP RUNNING! Did I just say this! Yes I did. Joe even said to me. "You aren't going to quit are you?" NO I am not. But there were things to do, bills to pay, places to go. While I was doing this thing I loved, not only had I been lagging on my duties at home, but I had been doing something else I hated... relying on other people. Lucky for me I have amazing friends and family and they were willing to help me. THANKFULLY!
I am so grateful to my husband and kids, my parents, mother in law and friends, especially Amy for helping with Maddie, helping keep things running (literally:) I am so SO LUCKY! I had so much support around me. I had NO excuses to not run. EVERYONE who cared about me was cheering me on, telling me it was great and ok and to just keep going! I don't know that I have ever felt so lifted up. I can not even begin to explain how wonderful it felt.
And now, still, just today I had someone ask about my race. Cleaning the house, making photo books for Joe's work, getting the laundry done, just getting on top of my business! THAT is what I have been doing for the last 2 1/2 weeks. Not so much running though! SO here we go. Next stop finding the middle ground.
I am a couple weeks early but I am planning ahead. I am making my SPRING RESOLUTIONS!
#1 To Run- just to Run! Be able to do a race any time. Not a Half on a whim, but 5K's 10K's that would be so fun! Rachel has my new plan all ready, so I am ready to go. I am looking forward to running in the Spring and Summer. Oh to run in warm weather. How nice would that be?!?
#2 Be on top of my home business. Meaning the cooking cleaning, laundry etc. To the point where I am satisfied with how it all goes. My career is my family. SO this is my job! I have to stay on top of it.
#3 To begin to transition my children, my husband, my whole family, to be a wee more independent. I like my home to run just so. I am a wee bit controlling over how I want my house to look and my time with my kids to transition, I want it to run smoothly. Right now I do a lot for all of them. Most of it I felt was necessary for my own sanity, but I think now that I have found this thing for myself. It is time to take a little of that standard down a notch AND give some responsibility away to my highly capable family and just let go.
#4 The Wynken, Blynken and Nod project. When I was pregnant with Keegan I thought about a story my Pama had told me. Wynken, Blynken and Nod. A poem really that spoke of the stars, the moon and a wooden shoe, sleepy time and sweet dreams. Keegan in my tummy I would tell him the tale. I memorized it. I would have Joe listen to me and correct me while I practiced. My ultimate goal to be able to recite the story to my children.
When Keegan was born. I told him the story. Tickling his back. As Delaney and Cam and Maddie came along they all got the story. But the more there were, the longer it took. And pretty soon I was trying to clean up dinner, make lunches, AND do Wynken and Blynken! I would run out of time every night and soon Wynken and Blynken was last on the list of to dos. Only showing up on special nights when time permitted.
But now I am hating myself. My kids beg for it. If I say it, it's four times and they each get their moment. I get my snuggle time and they get to relax into bed, with a story they have heard since before they were born. This is my final and really most important resolution. But it comes with a condition. My children are old enough now to understand how things work. They know they enjoy a clean space, otherwise why would they leave the room they have just destroyed and move to a new one :) So I have been trying to explain to them.
"The more you help KEEP things in order, the less time I spend cleaning and picking up, the MORE time I have to snuggle kids to bed!" This requires a lot of help and want on their part. It is an easy thing to say "MOM, PLEASEEEEE tell us a story!" My response...If Wynken and Blynken is important to you, then you will help me. And I will have plenty of time. If not then I don't!" None of us want that. We all want some Mommy time :) So it must be a priority. We will all work on it. And for the nights when I can't make it upstairs for turn down service. Joe has his own version. It goes differently every time, but its usually something like
"Wynken, Blynken and Nod one night, sailed in a bookity boo, and Wynken fell down and broke his down and Nod went to Lowe's and Wynken bought a hose and they all rocked away in the ocean blue for Wynken and Blynken and Nod." The kids laugh more then they settle in to bed, but it is as sweet a routine as mine :)
So onto Spring things, onto my next set of resolutions. Funny, in letting myself set seasonal resolutions I find myself actually following through instead of abandoning them mid year. I have had the same resolutions since last summer! And for the first time I have followed through with most of them! AMAzing!
I am pooped. We have some of Joe's fellow Rotary club members coming over Friday so I am a mad lady, cleaning and organizing. The way everyone does before new people come over. Let me just say this. The Magic Eraser is AWESOME! But it is also a slippery slope. Clean one piece of molding or wall and you will be cleaning any around it. I can't stop! I hope that I can get it all done. Wish me luck!
I will post my homemade tortillas and carnitas recipe from the other day, tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment