It is true, I hate Easter grass. It looks so fun and festive, I am sure the Easter Bunny just loves using it, but in actuality it is a wide-spreading, static clinging, nightmare, that makes its way around your house or even yard in our case, leaving in its wake a path of devastation, only picked up by hand. The dang vacuum just adds more static. IT IS EVERYWHERE! A whole week later! Phew that feels good to get that off my chest :) Now on to more important things.
It is Spring and I have been horrible about keeping up on my blog posts. On that note thank you SO much to all of you who expressed missing me and my posts. It is hard for me to imagine it mattering to anyone, so it was humbling and sweet to hear you were wondering what I have been up to and when I'd be returning. It makes me really happy to know it matters :) So again Thank You.
So when you are being bad about keeping up on something, if you are like me, you start to feel anxious about it. It starts to get so far away from it that you start to blow it up in your mind and wonder how you'll ever get back into it. I get like this about anything that I put off. Filing my mail/bills, laundry, exercising, cleaning and now blogging. In the end I usually end up wondering why I was making it such a big deal. It does take a little work and effort to get back up to speed but in the end it always feels good to have gotten over that thing, whatever it had been.
So for this blog, I have been feeling bad realizing how long its been since I posted last. Then I start thinking about all the things I could post about and then analyzing each until I tossed out all of them. I even wrote one in my head, while folding laundry. Isn't it funny how good things sound in your mind. Then I sit down today, ready to write this awesomely funny, thoughtful post and....[crickets chirping] It may have sounded great but now I got NADA! Oh well. Moving on. Rather then dwelling on all that I could have written about, whatever it was :) I decided that I want to just give you some highlights into my last month. Tidbits really. Then you'll be up to speed and I'll be ready to move on...
Highlights from a Crazy Wonderful Month...
Two days of Potty Training-
Maddie and Monster. Who's big idea was this? Mine. It just happened one Tuesday morning. I was watching Monster and for whatever reason decided to try the potty thing. Maddie had shown some interest so I thought "Sure why not?" Well let's talk about WHY NOT... Pee lots of pee...Wet, peed on clothes...Pee on the floor...Putting babies on the potty over and over and over...More pee on the floor...And day two-Maddie has NO interest in potty training or sitting on the potty so I decided I had no interest anymore either. At least not for now. I have until September to get Maddie trained and I am in no hurry. Especially after at one point I found poop on the carpet and actually had to really LOOK at it in order to determine if it was dog poop or baby poop. It was dog poop. WHY am I potty training a dog and a kid? No idea.
Field Trip Chaperone-
I was a chaperone twice this month. Once for Laney, once for Keegan. I like being a field trip chaperone. Its a great way to get to know your kids class and be a part of the school. Get to know the teachers and other parent chaperones. I went to a cathedral (St. James in Seattle-I highly recommend going if you can, Catholic or not :) The Frye Art Museum and also MOHAI Museum of History and Industry all in Seattle. The Frye was getting ready to close down and set up for their 60th Anniversary. The featured exhibit was called Beloved. As we walked through the museum, myself, the other chaperones, teachers and 40 Second graders, it was definitely a minimal exhibit. They had taken down all but about 2 dozen paintings, beautiful paintings though. We did a scavenger hunt with the kids and by each piece I noticed a description on a small plaque describing why one Frieda Sondland loved it, not thinking much of it. As we left the museum, ready for lunch we were greeted at the walkway by an elderly woman and her caregiver. The woman smiled brightly speaking with the children, asking them what their favorite piece was and why. The kids called out to catch her attention to tell her their opinions. She told us she was so happy we liked the pieces for she was the one who had chosen the pieces for Beloved. She had been coming to the Museum EVERY DAY for the past 10 years. And so the museum had decided to let their most beloved patron she, Mrs. Frieda Sondland pick the collection. She and her husband who passed 8 years ago were frequent visitors to the museum, staying hours at a time, debating and discussing the pieces they loved. This exhibit was a tribute to their adoration and patronage. Since he had passed she had continued to visit and you could tell that it never got old. I can only imagine it was comforting to her to visit, and think back on their time their together. Listening to her even for the short moments we did was very special. In checking out the Frye website later I learned this woman had quite an amazing story and was even more delighted to have listened to her and viewed her favorites.
You can see about this remarkable woman at the Frye museum website linked here.
http://fryemuseum.org/exhibition/4391/
-Cam is down to going to Occupational Therapy once a month! Huge for us both time wise and money wise. Our insurance considers O.T. an investigative practice. Basically not "proven" enough to pay for. They would have paid to put him on meds that realistically had nothing to do with what was going on with him, but for the therapy that actually was teaching him to deal with himself, not so much. I wish they could see how much he has been helped, and could recognize the need for better coverage. I am really not sure WHAT they cover but its disgusting to me how little it is. We don't have vision coverage either and that is fine. At his Vision Therapy diagnosis thankfully Cam's vision problems were actually muscular not optical, which made them medical not optical, so I thought YAY coverage...thank you...NOT SO MUCH! Regence won't cover his vision therapy at all! Again it isn't proven enough to be part of our plan. The receptionist actually used the words, "Oh Regence doesn't like to cover this." Not they don't or won't, they just don't like to. They CHOOSE not to. Flash forward to this month , I get aNOTHER bill for Cam's therapy. When I call to question why the bill is 3 times more money then my last 2 bills? After being transferred twice and finally getting a supervisor involved, I was informed that they had actually made a mistake doing the paperwork those last 2 months and now they would be re-submitting the claim and we would then be responsible for paying the hundreds of dollars difference. Super! I guess that's what I get for asking a question!!! As I cried to the woman on the phone, I apologized, knowing it was not she, the telephone representative who made these decisions, so I wasn't blaming her, but I had to ask the question. "what the heck DO you cover?!?!?" She was understanding but completely useless in answering it for me. I still am not sure and I don't know that I will ever get it. Thankfully the therapy is really working and it makes writing those checks a little less painful. That along with knowing there is an end in sight. Vision probably will only last through the fall and O.T. will continue on a need it basis. Much better then the once a week we have been doing. We are excited to see his O.T therapist this week after a month off, the fact we are making such progress feels SO great! Every little step may have felt like a mile, but we are getting there. My little man is doing awesome!
Spring sports have begun-
Baseball, soccer and more baseball. Some nights I just want to say to Maddie "who's my big girl who will never do a sport?!? :) YOU ARE!" (I hope you read that in your best baby talk voice;) But seriously. Sports are great. They teach a lot, they help the kids make new friends and can be exciting and fun. Not to mention they are great exercise, therefore keeping the kids active during the on again off again of our CRAZY Spring weather. But let's be honest, baseball in Washington has no business starting in April :) out of our first 2 games we have already been rained out once :) Looking good. Last year we had I think 5 make ups due to weather. Let's hope not this year. On a cute note, we went to Cam's first game yesterday and he requested some Pump it up Music. Ready to get into his game mode, we rocked out to John Fogerty's Centerfield for the whole 20 minute car ride. My favorite part (it's so fitting:) "Then a rounding third and heading for home, is a brown eyed handsome man..." Cam's favorite part "Put me in coach, I'm ready to play..today.." Yesterday was Crazy even for us :) Cam had his game at 9, Keegan had his at Noon and Delaney had soccer at 2:20. Add in the pre-game time and you have a lot of running here and there and everywhere. I left an hour and 45 minutes into Keegan's game and headed to Delaney's. As I drove up the road I called my friend and asked her to call or text me updates. Side note: Keegan has a really hard time realizing he has to share me with his siblings, especially on game day. As I called my friend, she says "Oh I was just gonna call you. Keegs just crushed it and thanks to a couple over throws has gotten an in the park home run! Really! Seriously!!! Of course! He calls to tell me after the game and can barely contain himself. Suddenly the phone goes quiet, he is crying because I missed it. Throughout the day he casually would bring up "It's ok that you missed my homerun Mom, don't feel bad" UGH! Knife in heart! Thank you Keegan I am thankful for your "forgiveness" If only it wasn't so heart wrenching and a little back handed :)
-I'm still running and plan on keeping that way. Finally lost some weight and have kept it off for a month. 8 pounds! This might not sound like a lot to you, but if it doesn't I suggest you go pick up a 5 pound bag of sugar next time you are at the market. I was feeling kind of badly like 5 wasn't a lot until I did that and realizing all that had come off my body plus 3 more, made me pretty proud. Plus I think that since it has taken so much time and effort to get here, I really believe I will be more likely to keep it this way. I've done at least one race every month since December and plan on doing that every month this year. I have the Heroes 1/2 Marathon this month. I am nursing some leg issues right now. But I have faith it will all come together. I wasn't able to run this morning because of it and I woke up at 6 am really REALLY bummed I couldn't go to Sunday Run Club :( That is a miracle in itself!
Basically this past month has shown me how blessed I am, how much fun I get to have in my life and also how much we have going on. I'd be lying if I didn't say that amongst these highlights there were a few moments of "WHAT AM I THINKING!?" A few weeks ago I went looking for something I hadn't felt in a while. Balance. I am a happy person, I am a positive thinking person. But sometimes the crazy lifestyles we lead can bring the very best of us to our breaking point. I am an overachiever by nature and it is hard for me to see all these things I NEED to do and WANT to do and HAVE to do and decide how to BALANCE them all. I would gladly never do another load of laundry. It would short term make me happy because I hate laundry, but the moment Joe was out of socks I would be so MAD I had let it go. It is easy to think of all the things you'd never do again if you could, but the reality is something completely different. SO in my self analyzing, I am left with a time management issue, begging the question. How do I accomplish all these things that need to happen and still leave time for the things I love to do, and not make myself and my family completely nuts?!? What do I give up?!? It is the question I know I am not the first to ask. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and what I have found is that the answer is...nothing. Anything I'd try to give up would be defeating the purpose of giving it up. I would be more unhappy knowing I wasn't getting it done. I think I am a pretty rational person. I do not need to be Super MOM but I need to feel like I am getting done the things I feel are important. Whether that is making the bed or a healthy delicious meal doesn't matter.
I read an interesting article written on a blog I think called the Power of Mom. It talked about not putting ourselves down as moms to do these things we see on Pinterest and Facebook. Not letting it get to us what we aren't living up to because our kids simply want us, not the grand gestures Mom's are beating themselves up about not doing. I appreciate the general message in the article but in another way kind of disagree on a personal level. It isn't me feeling like a bad mom if I don't attach butterflies to paper lanterns for my daughters birthday, it is not me putting myself down and feeling like a failure if I don't hand make a gift for my child or get a story read at bedtime. My laundry room will never look like the ones I pin online, but I don't beat myself up about that. I believe our kids, our husbands, families and friends do just want us. But sometimes we want more from ourselves. I put on elaborate parties because I LOVE IT. Do my kids like it, sure! But are they going to feel jilted if I don't do that every birthday? Not if I do my job right! My husband is the first to tell me, that I (and maybe a couple of my friends:) are the only one's who notice the details I put into things. That may be true, but I notice them :) Doesn't make them any less valuable. The grand things I do for my family are as much for myself as my family and they make me happy. Sometimes even just thinking up ideas is as rewarding as doing them. My roads are truly laid with the best of intentions. I try to not dwell on that which I do not do. I may go crazy here and there about the laundry, I may freak when my house isn't tidy, but for the most part I go with it.
SO in my search for balance I kind of reminded myself about that fact. I pride myself on my go with the flow attitude and it had just gotten away from me. I think I got it back though. Sometimes we just need a little reminder. Balance is just as much a way of thinking as a physical act. Finding our center. Finding peace in our lives. Finding happiness. The funny thing is, as we evolve, whatever those things are, changes. It might be months where just getting my beds made everyday is what is going to make me feel balanced. At another time, running 5 days a week may do it. At another reading to my kids every night. I try my best at all these things all the time. Sometimes I can let something go, and a month later getting that same thing done may be my saving grace. It is knowing ourselves well enough to know whats important TO OURSELVES. Who cares what's on Pinterest, unless YOU DO and then that's great. Just trust yourselves. If it isn't important to you to put away your laundry every day, fine! If you don't need to throw a fancy party, great! Do what makes you happy! Don't let anyone but you dictate what keeps you balanced! Just find it!
Thanks for coming back!
Night!
Ashley
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