100 MILES- I reached the finish line!

This morning I woke up early and decided to get my run done and over with, not normal for me :) I am more of an afternoon runner. But I knew I had to get 5.5 miles in and I had a lot of other things to do. I got on the treadmill, walked 2 miles, started running 3.5 later, walk the last .5.  6 DONE! Only 3.5 miles to go and my challenge is done. I get off and start my day feeling great that I am SO close! I went and ran my errands, not feeling like I was accomplishing all I should. Have I mentioned I am a procrastinator? Just checking :)

I got home from dropping my kids off with their Gram, she is having them overnight so I can get my stuff done. I arrive home, ALONE, weird. I do NOT like it when any of my kids are gone, even just one at a time, I REALLY don't like it when they are all gone. It feels wrong and unnatural and usually I have a hard time figuring out what to do with myself. I sit in the driveway for a moment, just realizing that I drove the whole way home with no radio. It is eerily quiet.

What to do, what to do? Pack, well I am still waiting on laundry. Clean...not now. I walk up the stairs spot my running clothes. It had occurred to me a little earlier, while I was talking my plans over with my friend, that I COULD just get my challenge over with today. I had time, I had no kids to hate it while I was on the treadmill AGAIN, should I or shouldn't I? Oh what the Hell! I can do it. No worries that I have already completed 6 miles not but a few hours ago. Let's get this over with.

I jump on the treadmill, 25 days later then I started this journey. It seems a lot longer ago then that. I walk 1/2 a mile and then start to run, I feel very tired again thinking of the 6 miles I have already run today. I keep going. 1 mile, 2 miles, 3 miles! I run as fast as my legs will carry me. Watching the lights blink closer and closer to my finish line. I look straight ahead, and I can't help but smile as I inch nearer and nearer to that last light. I cross it. The lights disappear. I slow the treadmill to a stop. I stand there alone. No fanfare, no cheering crowd, no kids to be my cheerleaders, just me.

For an instant I feel sad and anti-climatic. But in the next moment I realized it is as it should be. I didn't do this for anyone but myself. I didn't do it for the applause or for the recognition though so much support from so many has been amazing. I did it for me. To prove to me that it could be done. To show myself I am what I choose to be. I am a mother, and a wife, and a daughter, and a friend. I am a volunteer and a carpool driver, and a cook and today I am a runner. It is mind blowing to me how much I feel I have transformed in such a short amount of dates on the calendar. It gives me a sense of hope that I think I will look upon things differently because of this experience. I think when I am feeling like time is too short and questioning what I can do in a short amount of time, instead of giving up on something, or putting something off until there is more time, I think I will push ahead and try to prove to myself that it isn't the amount of time that is important but how we utilize it.

I could have said "Oh we are going on vacation and I'll start running after that." That's what I would have said a few months ago. But for some reason, that night I wanted more. More from myself and of myself. I have to say it may sound silly, but I am proud of me. Only I really know how many times I have truthfully started things and not finished them, and I am going to sleep good tonight knowing that this was not one of those times. That I wanted this, I did it, I earned respect from myself. I look forward to a new challenge and for the first time I believe that whatever it is, I CAN and WILL do it!