Not sure why I can't just get excited to go on a plane and fly off on an amazing vacation, but I can't. Pretty sure I am having a panic attack. The worst part is that I don't want my kids to know that I am scared. I do NOT want to project my anxiety on them. I want them to be as excited as I should be for tomorrows departure to Hawaii. I won't do that to them.
This all goes back to my first time on an airplane when I was 7. We were flying from California to Seattle and I had my blankie, my Rosary, and a lucky rabbits foot. My nerves were getting the best of me and I thought I should read something to get my mind off of things. I reached into the seat pocket in front of me, grappled around and grabbed the first thing I could, pulled it out opened up and OH! Are you SERIOUS! It was the pamphlet on what to do in case of a crash water landing. SUPER! That was it for me. I was never excited again or wanting to fly. I still have gone, mostly just with Joe, only with my kids three or four times. That brings a whole new set of worries, flying with kids. I worry about their behavior, their well being with the air pressure (ears popping and such) and the sick, freaked out side worries about In Case of Emergency SH#*! I Hate this feeling!!!!! I just want to go have fun.
I do weird things before we go on vacation, cleaning out things like drawers and closets, so that In Case of Emergency I am not judged for not keeping up on my filing. I know, sick right?!?! Even with that type of stuff having been done, we are still ready to go already. Joe and I are sitting here thinking we must be forgetting something because the bags are packed and in the van. The kids are asleep and my house is cleaned up for my mom and dad's arrival in the morning. I had even thought I wouldn't have time for a blog post, yet here I am. I should be ecstatic. I should be in my bed, cuddled up awaiting my alarm to sound tomorrow morning.
I feel like a crazy person. I wish it could just be like Star Trek "Beam me Up" and I am there! Unfortunately that is not the case so off I will go! I really am SO excited! Or at least I will be when we get there. I will definitely be enjoying a pre-flight mimosa, nothing major, just enough to take the edge off, but not so much I don't have my wits about me on the plane...you know...just in case.
If you are headed to Hawaii tomorrow, I'll be the one in the middle of 2 kids, with my blankie around my neck, holding my rabbits foot and rosary with crossed fingers, saying an Our Father, NOT checking out the pamphlets in the seat in front of me. OK just kidding, my blankie, or at least a piece of it will be in my carry on, not on me.
p.s. I am not sure about the internet connection from where we are staying but I will be sending what posts I can from Maui! ALOHA everybody!
No comments:
Post a Comment