Testing...

So I posted my Find the Beauty post on Friday at 1:06am. I then spent the 25 minutes in bed, entering in all the things I NEEDED to get done on Friday. Maddie was going to be with my best friend so I was planning on getting lots done. We woke up Friday morning. And Delaney couldn't figure out what to wear for Free Dress Friday. Then I was reminded that I needed to drive my kids to school. As soon as my kids found out I was driving they switched into reverse gear. They could not get their acts together and we ended up at school 25 minutes late. I did not yell or scream on the way it was what it was. I got to school and was informed I needed to get Cam a tardy slip in the office. Maddie was still in her jammies and I was late to drop her off at Amy's. I ran up to the office and got him his slip. Dropped hiim in class and jumped in the car.

I arrived 45 minutes late to Amy's. I walked Maddie in, and got ready to run around there. That was my plan all along so I could go to the nearby Target after. So as I was getting ready to go. I realized I had written an email wrong, and had to fix and resend it. I did so. Now 60 minutes behind schedule. Oh well. I am still keeping it together, fully embracing my new found mantra...Find the beauty!!!!" So I go run. I do not feel like doing so since I am dealing with a neck problem and being a girl (enough said) But I do it! I felt like I was wearing cement shoes but I get my 2.6 miles in. YAY! I get back to Amy's to change, kiss Maddie good-bye and head to Target. Only a little over an hour behind schedule. I pull into Target and realize I missed Starbuck's. Oh well I decide I will go after. I reach down to grab my purse and...WHERE'S MY PURSE!!!??? Oh at home...perfect! I don't freak. I say a couple times..."really Ashley" But I simply pull out of my parking spot at Target and head home.

I start thinking about the irony of this day as I had less then 12 hours ago, made a pledge to "find the good, find the happy and the beauty." So here I am driving home. Officially not really accomplishing anything and yet I am OK so far. So I get home and grab my makeup bag and purse and as I drive away and up the street I realize my wallet and sunglasses the other things I need are not in it. Tun around. OK now I hear a voice in my head, taunting me "How beautiful is this Ashley! How Happy is this? Do you see the beauty now Ashley?" I start hysterically laughing. Like pull over, tears coming down my cheeks laughing. I have done it. I have cracked.But I am not upset. I actually feel happy and kind of proud that I am not totally freaking out.

I looked at the clock and although I had switched my itinerary so I could get a car wash and clean out my car since I couldn't get to Target. It was now time I needed to go get Cam and get him to therapy. I seriously just put my car in drive and went. I wasn't upset or mad or irritated. It was was what it was. And I found myself thinking "NOW THAT WAS BEAUTY!" Letting it go. I had no control over any of it. On Fridays I pick up Cam and we eat lunch in the car to kill time before his therapy session. As I sat there I got out my phone and went onto Facebook. I had a message waiting from my friend. She had woken up in a crappy mood and felt like a mess. She said her mom told her to read my blog post and that it gave her perspective and a new outlook on the day. Now I was laughing AND crying. To know my words at helped shift the mood of someone else's day! That was beautiful!!!!

Sometimes I write things and I don't really know if it means anything to anyone but me. I have become comfortable with the fact that this is my outlet and whether 5 people or 500 people or nobody reads it doesn't matter. I just hope that if someone does, that it- like in this case- brightens someones day or lets them know that there is someone else who understands where they are at. If I can do that then I have succeeded!

So here is to laughing, loving and rolling with it all! The good, the bad, the ugly and THE BEAUTIFUL!