Fall Music Playlist

I separated this out of my other blog post because I didn't want it to get lost in all those words :)
This playlist makes me happy! The fireplace is on, a glass of red wine poured, dinner on the stove!

Madeleine Peyroux- Albums: Half the Perfect World and Careless Love
Doris Day- Album: A Bushel and a Peck: Songs from the 40's and 50's
Damien Rice- Album: 9 and Songs: Lonelly, Cannonball and Unplayed Piano
Fleet Foxes- Mykonos
Greg Laswell- Girls just want to have fun and What a day,
Glen Hansard and Markets Irglova- The Swell Season
Amos Lee- Albums: Supply and Demand and Mission Bell
Ray Lamontagne- Albums: Till the Sun turns Black and Gossip in the Grain
Jessie Baylin- Album: Firesight
Jamie Cullum- All at Sea really anything he sings
John Mayer- Continuum
Adele- 19 and 21
Brandi Carlile- ANYTHING SHE SINGS- Joes favorite her cover of Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah
Joseph Arthur- Honey and the Moon
Joshua Radin- We Were Here
Lissie- Everywhere I Go
Sleepless in Seattle Soundtrack
Michael Bublé
Paolo Nutini- Album: These Streets
Robbie Williams- Swing while your winning
Tony Bennett- Duets
Starbucks- Blue Note Blends Albums

Add anything from the 40's and 50's! Frank Sinatra, Rosemary Clooney, Lena Horne, Billie Holiday, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Ella Fitzgerald, Cab Calloway, Duke Ellington, to me they just sound like fall. Add them to this list perfection!

Anything you'd add? I love suggestions!

Oh Fall...How I love thee!

Growing up in Southern California, I was surrounded by many amazing things. Countless sunny days, real ocean beaches only a drive away, palm trees, and more. Whereas all of those things I still hold close to my heart, TRUE seasons, you'll notice are not on that list.

When I was 9 or 10 years old I would wake up for school, look outside. If I saw a grey sky...Yay! I'd run to check out the weather section of the L.A Times, see 60 degrees and put tights on and a sweatshirt. Brrr :) I would be SO excited. But every afternoon without fail, the sun would pop its head out of the clouds, it had only wanted to sleep in, all snuggled beneath the covers, not stay away all day. By lunchtime my tights and sweatshirt would be stuffed in my bag, forgotten until the next cloudy day. How we here in Washington feel about a good snow day, that's how we felt about rainy days. My sisters and best friend and I would say " Oh it's so cozy!" We couldn't wait to get home and "into our sweats to watch a movie and drink hot cocoa" No seriously that could have been a direct quote:)

The first year we moved here, 19 years ago, I arrived to a sunny August Washington and thought not much of it. It was beautiful and new but weather wise nothing special. It wasn't until a crisp September morning that I fell in love. This was a REAL season!

FALL! Oh the crispness of the air, the color on the trees, the leaves dropping from their perch and dancing down to Earth. This was what I had always dreamed of, but never witnessed first hand. I LOVE Summer, don't get me wrong, but I ADORE Fall! With Fall comes Fall Music, Clothes and Food!

The Soundtrack:
These are the albums, artists and songs on my Fall playlist.

Madeleine Peyroux- Albums: Half the Perfect World and Careless Love
Doris Day- Album: A Bushel and a Peck: Songs from the 40's and 50's
Damien Rice- Album: 9 and Songs: Lonelly, Cannonball and Unplayed Piano
Fleet Foxes- Mykonos
Greg Laswell- Girls just want to have fun and What a day,
Glen Hansard and Markets Irglova- The Swell Season
Amos Lee- Albums: Supply and Demand and Mission Bell
Ray Lamontagne- Albums: Till the Sun turns Black and Gossip in the Grain
Jessie Baylin- Albums: Firesight
Jamie Cullum- All at Sea
John Mayer- Continuum
Joseph Arthur- Honey and the Moon
Joshua Radin- We Were Here
Lissie- Everywhere I Go
Sleepless in Seattle Soundtrack
Michael Bublé
Paolo Nutini
Robbie Williams- Swing while your winning
Tony Bennett- Duets
Starbucks- Blue Note Blends Albums

I listen to these on shuffle. Something about the smooth sounds and old time tunes, just feels like Fall. Even Joe who prefers more popular, now music, likes to come home to this playlist, the fireplace on and the smell of a yummy dinner wafting throughout the air. I really love anything from the 40's and 50's! Frank Sinatra, Rosemary Clooney, Lena Horne, Billie Holiday, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Ella Fitzgerald, Cab Calloway, Duke Ellington, to me they just sound like fall.

The Wardrobe:
What's not to love about Fall clothes? I mean really, jeans are pretty much a year round must have here in Washington, but I am SO ready for the long sleeves, sweaters, boots and sweats to come back in my life. I like to leave a little to the imagination. Haha! I wish I could imagine myself in anything minus this "floatie" I'm carrying around. Even with all my running, I'm looking forward to the cold weather attire and thinking maybe after a Fall and a Winter of running that I will be "floatie-less" next Summer. Probably not "floatie-free" but I'll take less anyday:) Yeah I've never said that before :) But regardless I love the clothes right now! Not necessarily MY clothes, but Fall clothes in general :)

My House:
So we got married in August and bought our first house in October. Being newlyweds we got a lot from our families hand me down wise, but the decor we bought was bought in the FALL, so I LOVE how my house looks best in the Fall as well. The lighting just accentuates everything best this time of year. I love the coziness of the dark skies accented by just a beam of sunlight streaming through my window. I turn my lamps on a little bit earlier, it makes my conserving of all that during the Summer worth it. I take my Spring/Summer pillow covers off to reveal the rich tones of their Fall/Winter counterparts. Get out a few strands of autumn leaves to bring the colors of the season into my house. All of it just reminding me what a warm inviting home I have, and how lucky I am to reside here.

But now my favorite part...surprise...surprise...THE FOOD!
There is nothing better then a beautiful warm stew on a cold Fall day. I have spoken before about my Hungarian Heritage. My Nana was not only Hungarian, but she also lived in Germany for many years. The smells, textures and flavors of that type of food are such an important part of my family and my childhood. Not just Hungarian food, but the soups, the breads, the stews, roasted veggies, all of it! Like I said I love Summer. I love the grill and all the fresh veggies but Fall food just can't be beat!

I do think that part of it is the memories I have connected with it. Those of my Nana and childhood and more recently, well 10 years ago of me as a Newlywed bride trying to figure out how to cook for my husband. I must have called my mom and Nana a million times. How do I do this? How long do I cook that? The first meal I could really make well, like Joe actually asked for it, was a roast chicken. My mom walked me through step by step many many times before I could do it right. I'd serve it with lumpy mashed potatoes (why are my mom's ALWAYS smooth?) and caramelized carrots. Sitting together just the two of us in those first coupe months; talking about our days, discussing if we could afford to buy a house, trying to figure out how to tell everyone that even though we just gotten married, we were going to have a baby:) Those are some special moments, shared over my first real meal.

Some of my go to Fall Meals:
Chicken Paprikash- Hungarian with cucumber salad...UM YUM!
Chicken Stew with biscuits-Joe's favorite
Chili
Soup- Chicken Noodle, Chicken with Noodles (Joe's mom's recipe) Chicken with dumplings, Acorn and Butternut Squash Soup (More like a bisque) French Onion, Tomato Basil with mini toasted cheese sandwiches to name a few!
Poor Man Stew
Baked Pasta
Goulash
Fried potatoes with Bratwurst and Saurkraut
Mom and Kitty's crazy Tri-Tip
Banana Bread
Pumpkin Whoopie Pies!!!

These are just SOME of my fav's so look for them in the weeks ahead. We will all be needing some inspiration in the cold dreary months to come. But for now I'm loving this change in season. I hope you are too!

What is your go to Fall recipe? Comment it or email it to me and I'll post it for ALL!

Happy Fall!!!!!



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Today is a new day...Fall Resolutions!

I have been so exhausted by this week. First off it is the first FULL week we have had since school started and it felt like it. Secondly the Cam situation, no need to say more. Thirdly I am getting paid back major for not being good about doing my homework as a kid. Keegan especially but also Delaney a little are going to try my patience at homework time, and I am not looking forward to that. Luckily I can tell them that I understand and was just like them so maybe that will be worth something? What are the odds they listen...I'm realistic so not good :)

I am very excited to go to Cam's therapy today. I feel like it may have been a blessing that this week was so hard, no matter how horrendous it was, because it really gave us some specific things to address and work on. And that is all a step in the right direction. So I am taking the positive spin on it. He knows and wants to not be having these meltdowns so that is also good. More positive...and I just am not a downtrodden person so I am making a turn for the optimistic so we can enjoy our weekend.

Anyhow- Today is the first day of Fall and I am celebrating by getting my house in tip top condition. Since I looked into a cleaning person to do just a 1 time clean and was completely blown away with the $689 price tag for such. And that didn't include windows or 3 of the rooms in my house. Anyways I told Joe I'd do it myself to save money and I'd only charge him $500 ;) He laughed...I didn't think I was kidding.... Oh Well :)

Fall Resolutions:

Remember back in June I said I was going Season to Season Resolutions instead of New Year's Resolutions. So on that note, what are my Fall resolutions...I actually had to go back and look at my summer ones...couldn't remember all of them.

#1 Get Organized...This was a Summer Resolution also...

#2 Keep Running! EVEN in bad weather. Whether I hit the treadmill or put on a sweatshirt and get outside I need to pick a race so I have something to work towards. I NEED to keep running.

#3 Kids Chore Schedule- I never did make an actual schedule, I think instead what I did was better. I simply stated that WE ARE A FAMILY AND I DID NOT MAKE THIS MESS, YET I AM CLEANING IT UP AND IF YOU EVER WANT ME TO DO ANYTHING FOR YOU AGAIN YOU WILL STOP WHINING AND START HELPING! I think it's helping :)

#4 Don't get caught up in SCHEDULING and worse OVER-SCHEDULING!! With school in session, there is homework and soccer and play dates and more. It can all get SO overwhelming. It is mostly fun stuff, but I just want us to get to have our home/hang out time as well! So I pledge to not Over schedule!

#5 This will be the same every season as well---HAVE FUN!!!!!! I am good at this one, I just have to remind myself to do it!

So maybe my resolutions do tend to fall into the same general sprawl every season. But that's okay that just means that I really feel these things are important.  I have a fun I LOVE FALL post that should be ready tonight! Check it out later!

Happy Fall!

WANTED: Positive thoughts, wishes and prayers

I am so grateful for everyone's kind words and thoughts. After an extremely emotional and exhausting day yesterday. Cam is back in the saddle and on his way to school. I feel like I could throw up. Part of me just wanted to keep him home to protect him from himself. But I guess I had to rip off the band-aid, so to speak. We talked, we came up with ideas on how to better cope, we hugged and off he went.

Please send him thoughts of love and wishes for calmness and prayers for a peaceful day :)

Thank you,
Ash & Cam



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Cam: A bump in the road :(

I had a fun I love Fall post all planned out and maybe I'll feel like it later, but for now I'm so bummed...
Cam got sent home from school today :(

School starts at 8:20am and at 9:00am my phone rang. I didn't want to answer. I saw caller I.D, I knew. For a microsecond I thought maybe it was about my volunteer stuff...No such luck. All his Aide said was Cam was having a "major meltdown" and his teacher would like him to get picked up. He would be in the office waiting. Let me backtrack for a moment and mention that I was laying on the couch when the phone rang because I am sick and I am trying to fight it by allowing myself to rest for a few moments (the last couple days) after the kids leave for school. So... headache, stuffed up, congested sinuses, phone call...come get Cam. Back up to speed.

I ran upstairs to get Maddie and myself dressed. I ran back down jumped in the van and headed to school. I called Joe 3 times with no answer. I didn't really need him to do anything but know what was happening. I just didn't want to be the only one dealing with it. I figured he must be in a meeting but still just wanted to hear him say it was going to be okay. I swear every car between home and school was driving half the speed limit. I just wanted to put on a siren and swerve around them. I didn't want him to sit in the office one minute more then he needed to. I knew he was there for bad reasons, but the mom in me was feeling SO over-protective. I just wanted to hug him and tell him it was going to be alright. To tell him that I know he was just frustrated and he'll have a better day tomorrow. But on the other side of my head and heart, I knew that wasn't it. I had to handle the situation differently. I had to be firm in the fact that his behavior was SO UNACCEPTABLE, especially for school. I knew that I was driving there because it was REALLY bad. I just didn't know HOW bad yet. I got to the office wearing my sunglasses so they wouldn't see my eyes so full of tears. I looked at him sitting there; his eyes red from crying, a look of sadness and guilt on his face.

"What happened?" I asked
"I couldn't draw my cheetah right, the other leg kep being too fat"

He knew EXACTLY what had sparked the riot within in him. He knew he shouldn't have reacted that way, it was written all over his face. When we got in the car I couldn't help myself, as I helped him buckle I started hysterically crying, AGAIN.

"I'm Sorry Mom"

"I'm Sorry too Cam. I am SO Sad that you have to come home right now. I am SO Sad that you have to miss school and all the fun things you do there, ALL because you were too frustrated about a picture!"

The amazing part is he can calmly recount the entire thing to me and explain it all so rationally. Yet when he is in the "throws of it" literally, he is so IRrational that it is scary. Today, he told me and then his teacher told me the same thing: He was drawing a birthday card for a classmate, the cheetah he was drawing didn't look just the way he wanted it to, the legs were uneven, so he screamed and pounded the table and yelled and threw himself on the floor, and threw crayons and erasers and pushed the table and kicked his chair against the wall. That was way beyond the daily upset he has had,day to day so far. I totally appreciate the fact that his teacher tried to deal with him and I totally respect the fact that they called me to get him, it is just the what do we do now, that is torturing me.

So now we are home. I have a message into his therapist. I am so torn between what I should be doing right now. I don't want to send him to his room, like I am punishing him, because I don't feel like he was doing this to "be bad" or because he was trying to disobey rules. But I don't want him to think it is okay and that he can just freak out and then come home and have a good ol' time either. He needs to know that his behavior was unacceptable and that he can not be in class when he acts like that. Luckily he loves school enough that I think that will help him try his hardest, but it isn't something he does on purpose which is what makes this all so hard to manage. I wish there was some manual that could tell me what to do! I made him help me put laundry away. And we keep talking about it. He said he felt "bad for being mean at Mrs. Scherger" so we decided it would be good for him to make her an apology picture. He has been working on it for over half an hour. From what we have learned in therapy he needs to get in some "heavy work" and playing on the playground is a great way to do this. Since we have a playground, that is a possibility, but again, I'm torn between dealing with his behavior correctly but not rewarding inappropriate behavior.

He just came up to me and said, he was sad, he didn't get to have recess with his friends. He said when he "prayer times again at school tomorrow," that he is "going to prayer for his whole class" :( Crying again...me that is. I know that I am not the only mom in the world, in fact I'm not the only mom in our school probably, who is dealing with the challenges of the their children, but that doesn't seem to make me feel any better right now. I just wish I could hug him and make him better. That I could say "There! Now you have all my love protecting you Cam and now you will have a beautiful life. Go forth my son!" :) But since that will not work, I guess we just keep trying. I just "prayer" :) that he can stay out of his own way, so that he CAN have a beautiful life. One step at a time, I guess.

EASY Pot Roast

 

Here's the ingredients:

A 3-5 pound Pot Roast

a packet of Au Jus Gravy Mix

A packet of Italian Dressing Mix

2/3 a 32 oz. box of beef broth (about:)

This morning at 9am I threw all those ingredients into the Crockpot, turned it on low and left the house.

When I got home about 11:30-12:00pm I added about 1/2 an onion

A bunch of carrots- peeled and chopped thick

Celery chopped thick also

 I saved a soup bowl full of the carrots and celery to add later.

 This is at about 5:45- I added the rest of the carrots and celery.

 We ate around 7 pm.

It was delicious with fluffy mashed potatoes, made with butter and heavy whipping cream. Not Low Fat :) OH WELL!

Cam and Kindergarten

So I have been obviously kind of busy, but I also have been waiting to report on Cam's school experience because I have wanted to get a good perspective of it before I dished. I write this in large run on paragraphs because that is how it has gone, one big jumble in my mind.

So the first day of school he literally looked at me and said "why are you still here, MOM GO!" Hold on Cam let me remove the dagger from my heart and I will get out of here. He was so confident and excited and I wanted that for him so badly, but it didn't stop the fact that my heart and mind were so full of anxiety and fear that when I left school I pulled over and cried hysterically on the side of the road. I KNOW how funny and kind and charming and fun he is. I KNOW that his outbursts aren't something he is doing to be naughty. I SEE his internal battle in his eyes and I KNOW best how to maneuver all of it. I felt so helpless that morning, like I was just abandoning him to fend for himself. I felt bad for his teacher, like I was dropping of a ticking time bomb and saying "Good luck!" It was all in all just a sinking feeling, SO full of uncertainty. I was "hoping for the best, but expecting the worst." I had talked a little with his teacher. Delaney had her and I was so lucky, because I knew she was sweet and willing to take him on, but as I was talking with her the day before school started at his Open House, I felt like- am I helping by warning her about these things? Or am I freaking her out? Am I trying to micro manage the situation too much? I wanted her to know what worked for us at home, but I also wanted to let her know that I trusted her to do what worked for them at school. There was a dark cloud around the situation, a dark cloud of uncertainty that was in the fact she hadn't actually witnessed a "meltdown" yet. I was surely trying to help, but I quickly realized I indeed WAS scaring her, because I was making it sound awful. In my defense it really could be awful, but chances were he was going to be trying with all his might to reign it in so he could stay at school. Fresh in his mind the memory that on one of his last days of preschool last year he was sent to the office and then home for pushing over a chair and screaming like a mad man over a "messed up" construction paper butterfly.

I finally drove away and started for home, trying to talk on the phone with anyone and everyone who could settle me down. Realizing quickly that I had gone completely the wrong way and was headed across the valley instead of home. I was on the phone with my friend Amy, who lived out that way. "Come here." she offered. "I'll stop at Starbucks" I said. 20 minutes later I was crying on her couch. Like a patient to her therapist. Sipping my latte between sobs. Not even my beloved coffee was helping. I HATE THIS FEELING! I JUST WANT HIM TO BE HIS BEST AND GET TO BE HIMSELF!!!! Every time my phone rang my heart did a cannonball into my stomach. "Oh Phew, just Joe. or Oh Phew! just my mom." Amy suggested putting a special ring on my phone just for school, "I don't know if they sell a death march ring tone?" Or perhaps something more uplifting like a little Lady Gaga "Born this way" :) I did receive an email midday saying he was doing fine and besides being a little nervous about the noise at his first all school assembly, he was OK. That email, his teacher will never know how much that helped me. I felt like I could take a breath. I wasn't 100% anxiety free, but I could breathe. Progress! I picked him up after school and he was excited. His teacher said that he had had a couple little breakdowns over not doing his paper perfect. But I felt actually relieved she had witnessed it and now knew more what to expect. We made a time to meet the day after that next day before school. This would give her another day to make some observations but also be soon enough that I would be able to give her some tools. The following day he had a little bigger breakdown. He had colored out of the lines and when she tried to talk him it escalated. Not sure what was the best way to handle it, it was perfect timing for us to meet. We went over some effective ways of diffusing Cam. I told her about some of his triggers. I let her know I am willing to do ANYTHING to help the situation and that I didn't want to get in the way or become a pain to her myself. I think she appreciated the information and I really just hope she will take it for what it's worth and find what works for her in class.

It is interesting though because one thing I explained to her is that as IRRATIONAL as his fits can be, especially over coloring outside the lines or "messing up" he is surprisingly rational afterwards. He is fully able to talk about it calmly later and he is able to see what was wrong with how he handled it. This is something that has gotten even better through his therapy. I can't believe that after so few visits that so much has gotten better. He's got 3 pairs of shoes he'll wear. His shirts can go untucked. I got a message from his teacher the other day that said he had such a "wonderful day" he had colored out of the lines and instead of freaking out he said "Ugh. oh well I can fix it" and she was so proud of him that she thought she scared him:) I read my message at a stoplight on the way home and all the carpool cousins and Keegs and Laney were saying "GOOD JOB CAM!" He sat a little taller in his booster that day. I ask him everyday how he did and he says. "Ga-wait" or Great :) " just cried a wittle bit :)"

He is loving soccer and may even have a natural talent in the sport. We'll see where it goes over the years but I love watching him play and get so into it! I tell him every day HOW PROUD of him I am!!!! and I mean it. I think he really realizes how therapy is helping him. I brought Maddie with us 2 Fridays ago and Laney and Keegan last Friday. I think it was good for his therapist to see the dynamic. I know it is partially just the way siblings act to each other but some of the behavior, the just being mean for the sake of being mean, HAS GOT TO STOP!!! His therapist told me it will most likely never STOP completely, but we can still continue to really teach and enforce that KINDNESS as our #1 priority.

So we keep working. Keep going to therapy. Keep talking to each other, to him, to his teacher. We keep using the strategies and techniques we are learning. We keep loving our awesome little man or "big man" as he keeps telling me. And I feel like if we can do all this, that we will continue to create an environment which will see him grow into a well adjusted big kid? All the while still allowing him to be the charming, funny guy that I never want to lose! I feel so lucky to live in this time, where we have the knowledge and tools to really give him the chance at really enjoying a long, happy life! I know he can and I can't wait to see what he does with it!

Thanks for all the support!!!
Ash

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